Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold