Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni