I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
